I have a strong belief in taking responsibility for one’s own reality and happiness which has supported a life where I have had the capacity to see the pain, and generally good intention, behind people’s behaviour, and I can take responsibility when other people trigger me.  Whilst this has meant I have been able to maintain relationships that were very complex and see not take as much as what I used to personally, I must admit, it has also fostered unhealthy boundaries, as a result of relentless naval gazing and asking myself how could show up differently here and not requiring any of the external conditions or relationships to change.  As such, this strong belief and value has meant that I have also stayed far too long in relationships that were not healthy for me.

I feel like I am constantly walking the tight rope of boundaries V accepting people for who they are; and feelings my feelings V refocusing with positivity and taking aligned action.

I believe that life itself is our greatest teacher, and therefore, just as I’ve got a lot out of relationships, the parenting scene has also been a wonderful playground to learn and grow from, and I always attempt to apply my personal practice of noticing what arises, my intention not to take anything personally and to radically accept what may have impacted or triggered me.  Parenting, and my son, without question, has been one of my greatest teachers.  There was a time as a parent that my son was acting out significantly, particularly against me, and I was not on the same page as his father.  I felt trapped and rejected.  I could not show up as myself or it would be undermined so I betrayed myself over and over again.  Oh, and the confusion and doubt.  I was so unsure how to respond.  I was in desperate need of a “friend” or someone to download to, but I didn’t want to take anyone’s time and the shame associated with your own child acting out against you – oh the shame.  Someone who wouldn’t judge and who could just be my frontal lobe in a very stressful situation, where decision-making and responding appropriately was not easy for me as my amygdala flooded and took over.

Hence this became the inspiration for my Hub.  I don’t want any parent to go through a situation with their child/ren on their own.  Especially when there is often some straightforward hints and hacks and shifts in perspective that can make a home and a Mum experience more safety and reassurance that showing up as herself, with love and with respect for herself and her kids such that she can speak with conviction (and love) and stand by her decisions, out of the high expectations she holds for her kids.

I also have a particular talent in seeing the pain behind peoples’ behaviour.  The young people I have worked with in my Child Protection journey have been the most wonderful teachers for this. Their acting out and socially inappropriate behaviour could never be taken personally once you knew their histories.  They too were just trying their best to meet their own needs and be seen, finally, by someone.  As my surrogate mother, Oprah would say, “hurt people hurt people”.  This 20 work experience with these special young people has helped hone my capacity for interpreting words and actions as a call for love.  I have worked directly with the young people, their carers and youth workers.  I have trained workers in how to manage these behaviours and repair when it becomes unmanageable.

Along with my professional training and qualifications as an Anthropologist and Social Worker, my spiritual path and practices impact the way I show up and therefore the way I work too, I wanted to acknowledge them in the hope that some may resonate with you:

• mindfulness (in particular the Thich Nhat Hanh tradition)
• Embodiment Practitioner
• Human Design analyst.
• Magnetic Mind Coach.
• The Work of Byron Katie
• Polyvagal theory
• Internal Family systems
• Lorie Ladd’s teachings on u-tube (I never thought I would be saying I have a ‘teacher’ on u-tube – I feel young!
• The Four Agreements (Don Migual)
• The neuroscience of trauma (Bessell Van Der Kolk, Dan Hughes and Allan Schore all of whom I have seen in person
• Therapeutic Crisis Intervention trainer (expired)
• German New Medicine (how our perceptions of conflict cause our bodies to respond in a way that is intended to heal but appears as symptoms).
• and last but not least, I am a student of A Course in Miracles.

As mentioned, my professional experience has included 23 years in the child and family space beginning in Child Protection in Kingaroy, Murgon and Cherbourg region.  After about 5 years as a public service, I moved into the non-Government sector and set up a Foster Care team for a non-Government organisation in Goodna where we recruited, trained and supported beautiful Foster Care families.  I co-facilitated the first and largest Men’s group in the Southeast corner; facilitated couples counselling, sexual abuse counselling for young people and group family training.  I facilitated and supervised staff who conducted in-house family interventions with an evidence-based, trauma-informed framework for supporting relationships in the home.

After 8 years of that, I ended up managing Residential Houses for kids in the care system who were cared for by Youth Workers on the Gold Coast in 2016.  This meant building therapeutic teams that represented families who cared for 3, 4 or 5 traumatised teens in the one home.

If you’re a parent you will know that caring for one mainstream teen is hard enough, but can you imagine 4, all four of whom are disillusioned with their parents, life and society and often hate where they live!  Yes, it was next level, but in this residential space we achieved some great outcomes, reducing police callouts, increasing school attendance and improving family relationships.  We had young people who, even if a foster family was identified for them, refused to leave us – their home.  I owe such a debt of gratitude to these kids and the youth workers who served them.  They left such deep footprints in my heart and reminded me that we are not who we “believe we are”, that all behaviour serves a purpose but most of all that the obstacles are the way.

Turning pain into wisdom is the real magic and that has been my mission since I realised that my own childhood adversity could one day bloom such liberation, compassion and self-awareness.  As I get older, I realise more and more, how joy too can awaken us.  We don’t always need to call in intense and painful situations to “learn our lessons”.  Life itself is our greatest teacher, and what we focus on we intensify, which gives us an element of control and choice.

So as you can see, I do not show up here as an expert in life, much less an expert in your life – that, my friend is you.  However, I do happen to have had experiences as a parent and a support to pseudo parents, and I have learnt some wonderful evidence-based bodies of knowledge that support others to do the same, both at home with kids or as a CSO, Youth Worker or Case Worker at work.

My values for my Hub are based on:

authenticity ~ evidence-based-practice ~ radical-acceptance ~ non-judgement ~ fun!

You will know if my services resonate with you after reading this.   If you have made it this far, well done, and there is a special 10% discount for your commitment – just mention one of my values when we speak.  You can text me about a free consult and we’ll make a time to suit us both.

I look forward to walking with you on your journey wherever it counts the most.